Robin Outsmarts the Sherriff… Again
In past days, when King Richard was off in the Crusades, a jolly outlaw named Robin Hood sat in a forest, waiting for a traveler to come by to feast and then tax for the merry feast under a greenwood tree deep in the recesses of the jolly forest. Meanwhile, the Sherriff was furious that merry Robin should get away with “such treachery” as he did. When he was feasting some guests, his face suddenly filled up with glee. Now nobody knew why he was so jolly that night, until he called for his soldiers to be fitted out with their best suits of armor and full defense gear. He had devised a way, as he happily thought, to stow merry Robin in a cell.
Minutes later, the Sherriff and his men were trotting thru the forest with torches alight, waiting for Robin and his gang to come out and try to rob them of their jingling gold.
Though the Sherriff’s plan was fitting for capturing an unsuspecting outlaw, one of jolly Robin’s merry men heard the Sheriff and his men jingling and jangling thru the forest, and saw the soldiers’ armor, and had run to tell Robin and the other Merry Men about the Sheriff. The outlaws now knew the men were coming and presently started setting and resetting traps for the soldiers and Sheriff. The sheriff, however, had suspected these traps and had sent ahead some soldiers to inspect the surrounding woods and road. They were shot and never reported to the sheriff. He had also sent out squadrons of a score of soldiers each, totaling five score soldiers to battle and capture the bold outlaws.
For all this preparation the outlaws had short notice from their own scouts and were fully unprepared for the impending battle but for the traps they had set and the positions of their archers in the trees and the small battalion of spearmen, halberdiers, and wielders of the quarterstaff.
When the Sheriff arrived, he thought to find the placed covered in rope and vines and traps, but he saw nothing until the soldier directly in front of him, who happened to be the captain, was suddenly whipped off his feet and drawn up into the heavens by an invisible object apparently holding his leg. When the next person, who held the only torch, was knocked out by some invisible object and the torch went out, soldiers went flying in all directions. Every second one was seemingly dragged up into the sky by the feet, and he ground seemed to have eaten the rest. Then the sheriff noticed his horse was dead, a shaft sticking straight up out of its head, and it was falling over. Hopping off, he whistled for his squadrons, and decided to go back the way he had come to let his squadrons fight the battle. However, on the way back a whole line of the squadron was suddenly bleeding from a massive hole in the middle of their bodies, and the rest of the group stopped. This discouraged the sheriff from running away. Turning around again he stood in front of a remnant of his army, which the majority of had been wounded in some way by the traps scattered on the road. When the back line was hit with a flurry of arrows, half the men scattered, each man looking for a trap to destroy. Many of them fell into the very traps they wanted to destroy, dragged up into the sky, eaten by the earth, shot in the back with an arrow, impaled by a swinging spiky log, or knocked down and then a log dropped on their heads. No mare men fell into any more traps, and the remaining traps were destroyed. They found that the ones that dropped you in a covered hole killed you with upward-pointing swords and wooden spikes.
When all the traps were destroyed, Robin alone went out to talk to the Sheriff’s men. When they tried to attack him, the attacker was killed by an arrow seemingly from the sky. When a soldier fired his on bow, that soldier was killed the second he touched the bowstring. They learned very quickly not to draw their weapons or try to rush Robin.
“Surrender and you will be spared with all your men,” quoth merry Robin.
“I shall never surrender to such a coward of an outlaw, who sets traps instead of fights like a true man!” said the Sheriff, drawing his sword.
This was a grave mistake – Robin’s men had been ordered to shoot the Sheriff’s hand if he drew his sword, and this was speedily done with the cost of one shot from everyone’s bow. The sheriff thus had a bad hand and his sword was on the ground. And after all the trouble, the whole remainder of about twoscore men charged the forest and encountered the Forest Footmen. The battle clashed here while the sheriff’s men attempted to gain the trees as a vantage point. This as easier said than achieved, and the archers all died in the attempt.
After a while of fighting, the sheriff’s men surrendered against the sheriff’s will, and the Sherriff was taken captive. He as taxed for the damage done, and hen released, while the soldiers were lured into the band and became members of the Merry Men of Robin Hood.
PS. Sorry for the bad formatting This browser doesn’t let me format anymore